Friday, August 05, 2011

Canada

Given deep introspection, I have come to the conclusion that Canada is the least exotic country in the world.

No, seriously, there is literally no other country that is as boring.

We are pretty much America, but without the gungho "go big or go home" attitude. And in the case of hispanics, it's pretty much just "go home". Where home is apparently Mexico regardless of origin of birth or place of childhood. Also our own "Manifest Destiny" was kind of half-assed. Like we sort of wanted to screw over the natives but didn't really put in the effort.

Commonwealth but without koalas, frivolous hats or a hatred of the British for pillaging the land and taking all the diamonds.

Well run like Germany, but more like a contraption made of rusty nails and softwood lumber that just happens to work rather than an engine of precision milled aluminum designed by engineers in fluorescent white cleanrooms. We also don't have a history of half-baked world domination ploys and make terrible movie villains.

Cold, like Scandinavia, but with less Satan.

I'd take kangaroos over Canadian geese. At least you can eat them.

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