Sunday, December 17, 2006

Time Cube

"When the Sun shines upon Earth, 2 - major Time points are created on opposite sides of Earth - known as Midday and Midnight. Where the 2 major Time forces join, synergy creates 2 new minor Time points we recognize as Sunup and Sundown.
The 4-equidistant Time points can be considered as Time Square imprinted upon the circle of Earth. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24 hour Days within a single rotation of Earth - equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube."; it's funny because he's not joking.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Into the Daaanger Zone!

I suppose everyone is well aware of the inherent dangers in the Wii nun-chukkas (apparently dangerous enough to be banned in Wal-Mart demo kiosks).

But what I've run across here is the inspiring story of a guy who broke his knee while playing Guitar Hero.

We were neck in neck in points... I had to do something special. I needed STYLE points. I breathed deep, my rock meter was maxed out and I was going to make this audience feel it. I twisted to the right and threw my guitar in the air! Instead of a roaring audience I heard a loud snap! My knee slid to the outside of my leg and my leg bent sideways as I fell to the ground.

Half the people in the room were concerned the other half called me a pussy.

A true inspiration for the rest of us.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Caught my eye...

Television commercials, the bane of many TV viewers, yet at the same time a form of art.

One that caught my eye was the Lexus commercial. Amid the roaring advertisements for trucks and SUVs making loud noises and tearing up mountain sides, it really stands out. It would've convinced me if I weren't so bent on Volkswagen (just for the sheer awesomeness of their factory in Dresden).

Also, the new recruiting commercials for the Canadian Armed Forces are pretty cool. Stark, simple and gets the message across. I like how the tone changed from "join the army for fun filled adventures!" to "you can make a difference--do something". I guess they realized anyone who would go to the army for adventures amid the current Mid-East quagmire is nuts anyways.

Remember those old iPod commercials? Of course you do. They've kicked it up a notch with some colour now. Which makes them absolutely fascinating to watch--in a high on LSD kind of way.

On a different note, the Lakota commercials have apparently been voted as the worst commercials on TV. They are pretty terrible, it's not even a real native!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Oh Wikipedia, how amazing you truly are!

I've always liked to point out how Wikipedia manages to have separate articles on every Pokemon, with subsections that include biology, appearance and their role in various media forms. All 493 of them, including ones that are unreleased in North America.

It becomes all the more hilarious while doing ISUs on Canadian authors; if Wikipedia were to be used as a indicator of the impact of subjects on the general public (which may not be as farfetched as it sounds), then Bulbasaur would completely school them all in its significance by many magnitudes (it even has "Statistical Analysis of Bulbasaur" under citations)!

For the critics, yes I do use Wikipedia for formal assignments provided that I follow these rules:
1. Never cite it as a source. Ever.
2. Never write something from it without a legitimate source backing up its claims.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Predictions; Grand Old Party is grand no more!

Election fever!

I predict that:

a) Democrats will take the House
b) Republicans will keep the Senate

Unless something really screwed up happens, the Democrats are most likely going to have no problems winning a House majority. They'll probably take a chunk out of the Senate but need to catch a few swing states in order to win a majority; not impossible but I don't expect it. Anyways, lets sit back and see what happens.

edit: So, I was correct on the first. But it's turning out close for the second with the Democrats slightly ahead and both vying for a recount. Also Rumsfeld retires, all he did was screw things up anyways.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Holy crap, double reed! Double reed!

I'm talking about Rahsaan Roland Kirk, a jazz musician who not only plays saxophone, but multiple saxophones at once. Not only that, he sometimes plays with multiple saxes and an oboe too. Not only that, he's also blind.



Seriously check this guy out. The quality is pretty terrible, but the point is he actually pulls it off while sounding good. Plus, that alto he's got is way cool.

edit: As I was was telling someone about Kirk, it was mentioned sarcastically in disbelief that I'll claim he played with one arm after losing it in a war. As it turns out, he actually did lose the use of his arm after a stroke and continued playing afterwards.

Yes, I put double reed in the title just for that one sentence involving an oboe.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

How do they afford these things?

Did you know that we actually spend more on our armed forces than Isreal? Personally, I'd say we're getting a bit gypped here. What, with buying flaming submarines from the Britons and last generation tanks from Germany.

Actually, we're down to our last submarine (HMCS Windsor) and it can't fire torpedoes because the ones in stockpile don't fit British torpedo tubes. It's kind of like the time Diefenbaker bought a bunch of missiles but refused to equip them with nuclear warheads and we ended up with a bunch of expensive fireworks. It's rather impressive how much money we manage to squander (not to say that America doesn't, but at least they manage to look intimidating while doing so).

Increasing the budget probably isn't going to fix things. Besides, what are going to use it all on? It's not like we're doing much peacekeeping nowadays (way to go Harper) so much as cleaning up the quagmire that Afghanistan has become.

There used to be a point here, but my train of thought fizzled out. So now you have some anecdotes instead.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Matt Kaiser!

Leave it to me to post about politics one day, then plagiarize viola jokes the next.

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
How was the canon invented?
Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.
Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche?
Erste Lage, Notlage, und Niederlage.

What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.

What's the definition of a minor second?
Two violists playing in unison.

How do you get the viola section to sound like the horn section?
Have them miss every other note. Ohhhhh, double burn!

Also, here's a painting of a double bass I did a while ago (just so there's something original in this post):

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Reductio Ad Absurdum

It seems that our Southern neighbors have gone rather mad at this point. I am of course talking about the beloved United States of America. What may have provoked such accusatory words from yours truly? Well, there are two things:

1) Habeas corpus is totally optional.

2) Great wall of America.

Of course, what I mean is that those are the most recent two events that have captured my disdain. I'm sure that they've committed many other absurdities but the pain tends to dull over time.

For those who don't know, a recent bill has taken away habeas corpus for "enemy combatants". Habeas corpus is the right to be free from wrongful imprisonment--the right to a fair trial for the accused. It has existed since the Magna Carta and has become the most fundamental basis of all common-law systems...well, all except for the States because they're so wacky! I imagine the reasoning behind it would've been something like this: If a person is innocent, they wouldn't need to worry because they wouldn't be sent to jail in the first place and then all the terrorists will be delivered justice without those pesky laws getting in the way.

It's like something that came out of the Colbert Report. It's so ridiculously terrible I don't even have to make fun of it. Nevermind that an innocent person would be unable to prove their innocence without a trial, nevermind that almost anyone can be classified as an enemy combatant and nevermind that this totally undermines the concept of equality under the law. Just nevermind, after all, it's fighting the terrorists that's important isn't it?

Onto the second topic, a wall to be built on the border to Mexico has been authorized. Actually, this isn't so bad. I was only going to rant about the first item originally but the idea is so crazy I thought it deserved a mention. Apparently having a bunch of rednecks sit in lawnchairs waiting for illegal immigrants with shotguns isn't good enough. Funding hasn't actually been granted (so it's probably just some political jostling) but the notion amused me enough to give it a holler here.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Phirst Poast

Well, after avoiding the fad for so long, I've decided to finally start up a blog. Just as a place to collect my thoughts on whatever issues cross my mind.

Unfortunately, customizing a template isn't as easy as I'd hoped for. Scripting is not my forte, so it will be a while before I get it to be the way I like it.

Also, what I post is obviously my opinion (unless cited or such) even if I don't explicitly declare it. Just so that's out of the way and nobody will harp about how something is 'only an opinion' later on.