Note to self

What did the carrot say to the wheat?
” ‘Lettuce’ rest, I’m feeling ‘beet.’ “
What did the paper say to the pen?
“I feel quite all ‘write,’ my friend.”
What did the teapot say to the chalk?
Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can’t talk!
~Shel Silverstein

Do not play jack
With the Jaguar cat--
You’ll never ever best her.
If she don’t win,
She’ll start to whine.
If she gets an eight,
She’ll pick up nine--
She’ll say she didn’t,
But you’ll know she’s lion--
She’s such an awful Cheetah.
~Shel Silverstein

I heard that Katrina
The Cook was a witch,
But me, I’m such
A stupid kid,
I yelled, “Hey! Katrina,
Make me a sandwich,”
And ZAP--
She did!
~Shel Silverstein 

How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live ‘em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give ‘em
~Shel Silverstein